When it rained on the equipment

Everyman tagged the rest of us MCCians for a post on our alma mater. I thought about doing this. Again and again. I had a lot of fun at MCC (everyone does), but I just couldn't pin it down to any specific incident(s). Or so I thought at first. But slowly, the memories came rolling back. And oh, how I giggled to myself, reminiscing about one incident and another, and then another.
Like most old colleges with large campuses, half the fun of studying at MCC was staying on campus. There was always something to do, and something or someone to laugh at. For us resident women students, the main source of our merriment was the WARDEN. I realise now that she must have been in her mid sixties, but at that time, we thought of her as closer to eighty. As far as possible, she stayed out of our hair, and we stayed out of hers. We would attend prayers and clap along while she sang, and she would watch us play badminton, volleyball and wall tennis (smashing tennis balls against the hostel wall) and once in a way encourage us with 'good shot' and 'well played'. As you can see, for the most part, it was a peaceable association. Of course, we laughed at her little foibles and follies, but never to her face. Or at least, never until that fateful night when she decided to lecture all of us on the care of the hostel sports equipment. The immediate provocation for said lecture was that it had rained and all of the sports equipment, having been left outside, had been ruined.
I'll attempt to reproduce her speech and memory permitting, I promise to stay as true to the original as possible.

" Girls, I am very very pained. Really very painful behaviour. All of you. You are all grown women and it is a shame that you have not learned how to handle equipment carefully. Cocks and balls must be handled with care. You think you can just like that find cocks and balls to play with? It is not like the Halls. The men students have lot of equipment. The college has taken great care so that women students also have equipment to play with. So you must treat the equipment with care.
You know what has happened? It has rained last night. And you know what happens to equipment when it is left in the rain? It is ruined. Look at this (waving a shuttlecock - definitely destroyed by the rain - in the air very vigorously) - What use is a cock when it has become stiff? And look at these balls (pointing to a pile of wet and totally ruined tennis balls), they have absorbed the water and are swollen and slippery. Balls must be dry. You will not be able to play with wet balls.
We will have to get new equipment. And I will tell the Principal that all the girls have promised me that you will handle the cocks and balls with care always. Do you promise, girls? "

We never figured out whether she was a total innocent or very very wicked. Personally, I go with 'innocent'.

Shain, thank you so much for that tag. Yes, I did enjoy MCC.