In camera

I need a camera. You know, one of those things that you point at people and shoot their pictures with. Before any of you decided to point it out, yes, I know it's not difficult to get one of them. But, and I tell you this in deepest confidence, I have convinced myself that I'm not tech savvy and therefore will definitely push the one button or twirl the one knob which will cause the camera to self-destruct, blowing me up along with it.

This is what led to this:

Me, sauntering down Brigade Road talking to myself (I do this a lot, talking to myself, I mean. Not sauntering down Brigade Road alone.) Oh there's a shop which sells cameras. Maybe I should buy one. Hmmm. Maybe I should go in there and look at them. (And so, in I go)

The salesman takes in my posture (one foot out of the shop) and correctly deduces that he's got half a second to grab me and my attention. He goes about this by lining up a whole line of cameras on the counter, talking nineteen to the dozen about features and apertures and exposures, scaring me into bolting right out of the shop and pelting down the pavement.

So here I am, without a camera. And I do need one.