Variations on a theme

The phone rings

Me: Hello?

Disembodied Voice : Ma’am, I am calling from ABCD Bank, is your name Orange?

Me: (Warily) Yes.

DV: You have an account with us and you are now eligible for a PLATINUM CREDIT CARD (Capitals used for the extra emphasis in her voice)

Me : But I already have one.

DV : You do? (Silence for a few seconds) Are you sure? I am talking about a PLATINUM CREDIT CARD.

Me: Yes, I am sure. Thank you so much for calling. Have a nice day. (Well, I didn’t say that, but I was quite nice about it).

The conversation detailed above became a variation on a theme.

The phone rings

Me: Hello?

Disembodied Voice : Ma’am, I am calling from ABCD Bank, is your name Orange?

Me: (Warily) Yes.

DV: You have an account with us and you are now eligible for a PLATINUM CREDIT CARD (Capitals used for the extra emphasis in her voice)

Me : But I already have one. AND PLEASE DON’T CALL ME AGAIN FOR THIS.

Another variation on the theme.

The phone rings

Me: Hello?

Disembodied Voice : Ma’am, I am calling from ABCD Bank, is your name Orange?

Me: (Warily) I HAVE A CREDIT CARD! AND I DON’T NEED ANOTHER – PLATINUM, TITANIUM OR SELENIUM!

AND PLEASE DON’T CALL ME AGAIN FOR THIS.

Finally, after speaking to an officer ( a seemingly sensible man) at the branch, I get my point across. They don’t call me regarding credit cards anymore.

BUT..

Today, the phone rang.

Me: Hello?

Disembodied Voice : Ma’am, I am calling from ABCD Bank, is your name Orange?

Me: (Still a little wary)Yes.

DV : You have an account with us and you are now eligible for a GOLD DEBIT CARD!

Me: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!