i am a river
for you
a soft channel
yielding.
carry your tide
inwards softly
to a sweet innerspring
all slippery longing
needing needing needing
to surround you
quench
the heat
of you.
laughing
ripples shimmering shining
foam breaks
within me
sighing
moaning waves
roll in to shore.
i am a drenched harbour
peaceful shelter
to hold you
warm
within.
soft rain
quiets the storm
rain that falls
wetly
back into itself
becoming us.
11 comments:
Metaphysical by any chance?? Love this one!! Slow, yet fluid..
@shain
While the underlying influence is metaphysical, it's not totally true to it.
Though the rhythm is irregular, the overall feel is smooth. And i've used traditional images for decribing the union of lovers.
It's been going through a lot of revisions. Glad you like it.
i am a drenched harbour...!!!
just love that line..dont know why.. and u know what....when i read ur lines, u really make me visualize it... i can see it like a movie :) awesome stuff..!!
and one of my biggest dreams is to compose my own song one day.. not just an oridinary song, but a one-of-a-kind song......and u bet..ill be coming to you for the lyrics :)
@mac
:-) It's one of the best things that's happened to me in the last year - setting up this blog and having people like you, Shain, Jimmy and others read and comment. It's actually helping me to write more.
Thanks!
And when you're ready to compose your dream song, let me know. I'd love to write it.
Wow. This one made me feel all wet (ahem) - in a nice way ;)
And really thank you thank you thank you for the Valentine's poem (even though it was a day late, ha!). And you are right, I did not send one out either ... so i can't really expect one to come by either (guilty grin!)...
But hey, you write great poetry; take it from me!
@jimmy
:-) yaaaayyyy... 'feel all wet(ahem) - in a nice way' is the response the poem was aiming at.
THANKS!
how touching!
keep posting such poems more and more :-)
@sara
thanks
So is it okay if i go dry myself off now? ;) Hee!
@jimmy
ha ha ha ha!
Another good one!
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