There's a reason I loved some of my classes

Scene: BA English Semester III Classroom
English lecturer limps into class after an absence of 4 days.
English lecturer has sprained her ankle.
English lecturer's usual mode of travel is the suburban electric train from Tambaram to Chetpet.
English lecturer is recovering from a fall on the railway platform at Tambaram.
English lecturer explains her absence to the girls with this sentence:
And you know what, Giiiiirlsss, I sprained a tendril!!!!!

This is the same English lecturer who explained to us that Samuel Johnson suffered from a dreadful disfiguring disease which caused him to have lumps all over his face. The lecture ended when she said:
Oh, I just can't get the name of that disease,what was it called? Oh yes, I remember now, Giiiirlssss, Samuel Johnson suffered from a dreadful disease called the scrotum.

And while I'm on this subject, let me not forget the time she got really agitated at what she called our unruly behaviour and threatened us:
Girlssss, now you are making me upset and while I do not like scolding my students, if you go on like this, I will be forced to castrate you.

Believe me, we adored the lady.

P.S. It should have been tendon, scrofula and castigate.