Remembering Kochuvalliappacha

Circa 1971 or 1972. I was all of five years old. Or maybe six.

Venue : Our tharavad in Kottayam

Occasion : The funeral of my grandfather's youngest brother. We called him Kochuvalliappacha which means small or little or young grandfather.

As you can imagine, being a funeral, it was a solemn occasion. Although, to be fair to the deceased, I must say that I don't remember him being solemn in life. Not the least bit. Not ever. My father and he shared quite a few common characteristics, a love of the ridiculous and a smile that lit up the world. My world, anyway.

To give you an idea of how much they loved the ridiculous, a few weeks before he died, Kochuvalliappacha asked my father to accompany him to the cemetery. Now, when in Kottayam, the four of us followed him around like little sheep. And so, to the cemetery we went. I don't think I really knew what a cemetery was, but I went anyway. If anybody thought I was going to miss out on something exciting, well, they didn't know me one bit.

At the cemetery, he checked out the family grave, and made them remove the cover slab from the chamber his body would be placed in. Then, he climbed in and lay down in it and looked all around him. And then called out to my father, " Hmmm, it's a bit tight in here. I think you may have to chip off a bit of the concrete to get the coffin inside." My father and he laughed about it and then we all trooped off home. I don't really remember all this very clearly, most of it is hearsay, but I do remember him clearly.

And I also remember clearly that the coffin did stick while they were sliding it into the chamber. And my father had to get the concrete chipped so that Kochuvalliappacha could be laid to rest inside the family vault.

Last month, when I was at home, it suddenly occured to me just how much my father resembled his uncle. He adored my father and I think that automatically made us children adore him in return. During the last year of his life, we used to go to Kottayam regularly, simply because he wanted to see us.

I guess he loved us a great deal and that is probably why after all these years I still remember him so clearly.