It's 25 years since I passed out of school. Sometimes, it seems like a long time ago. Those are the days on which I feel old. But luckily, they're very few and far between - those days. Most days I feel about 25 :-) . I guess you could say I'm in denial, but I prefer to look at it as being optimistic. Oh well, I also discovered that it's a family thing, this staying young in the mind. My sister who's five years older, confessed that she's definitely below thirty, maybe about 27. And a brother who's a year older - well, he's seventeen but my oldest brother takes the cake - icing, tiers, tray and all - as he still claims to be five years old. That also explains why he fights with his youngest daughter over her share of chocolates - it's his inner child coming out! It keeps us young, this competition among siblings to be the youngest.It also reminds me of how eager I was to get out of school and grow up.
When I meet my school friends, all of us are amazed at how different we all are, yet how we still remain the same. We meet twice or thrice a year, to catch up on what's happening in each others' lives and spend a Saturday afternoon feeling young and giddy again. It's usually a group of about fifteen women but last Saturday, it was a much bigger group.
We're planning a 25th year reunion and this was what you'd call a pre-reunion meeting. This meant that there were many faces there that were vaguely familiar, the ones where you know the face but have no idea of the name, and the faces which drew a total blank (at least in my memory). I was thanking my lucky stars for the old constant faces of those I knew well and who knew me well enough to realise that the blank smile on my face accompanied my the nerveless nodding of my head meant that I had no idea who I was talking to.Most of the women there are not people that I keep in touch with, not because they're not lovely people, they probably are. It's just that my life went in some other direction and it came home to me that Saturday afternoon that other than for the do you remembers there is nothing much I have in common with most of them. For the life of me I cannot discuss servant problems and I don't have a husband to discuss his health problems or his predeliction with other women, or the kids admissions or the mother-in-law or oh dear a whole litany of things which left me cold. Okay, this I found depressing . I agree that people have these problems, but truly, can life be so pathetic that you don't have something else to talk about? One of them, a woman who failed so many times she was five years older than the rest of us when she landed in our batch and who apparently didn't pass her boards with us, spent about ten minutes sympathising with me because I was - horror of horrors - unmarried. She just couldn't get over it and kept saying 'Oh I'm so sorry'. It took me all my will power to keep from laughing out loud.
I have nothing against marriage, I think it's a great thing. But somehow, I just never got married and now I don't think I could. I feel like it would interfere too much with my life. You have to really love someone to let them get that close to you, don't you? I'm used to not having to ask anyone before I take a decision - if I really and truly want to do something, I go ahead and do it. And this whole relationship thing seems to be a game of who has control. You know, each of the partners wants something out of it, and it's a bloody competitive game to see who succeeds in getting what they want. Plus, can you imagine having to wake up just because someone else does or having to share a bathroom or having to be tidy even when you don't feel like it?? I can't. This is probably a selfish attittude to have, but right now that's how I feel. Like I said, you'd have to be terribly in love with a guy to let him matter that much to you. I'm quite happy with my life at the moment, thank you very much.
What really amused me in the encounter with the poor overdressed wife who sympathised with me was that she would be really shocked if she realised how sorry I felt for her - imagine defining your life by the fact that you are married!!
More about this in some later post. For now, all you married people, stay happy and all you unmarried ones, be happy too!!!
When I meet my school friends, all of us are amazed at how different we all are, yet how we still remain the same. We meet twice or thrice a year, to catch up on what's happening in each others' lives and spend a Saturday afternoon feeling young and giddy again. It's usually a group of about fifteen women but last Saturday, it was a much bigger group.
We're planning a 25th year reunion and this was what you'd call a pre-reunion meeting. This meant that there were many faces there that were vaguely familiar, the ones where you know the face but have no idea of the name, and the faces which drew a total blank (at least in my memory). I was thanking my lucky stars for the old constant faces of those I knew well and who knew me well enough to realise that the blank smile on my face accompanied my the nerveless nodding of my head meant that I had no idea who I was talking to.Most of the women there are not people that I keep in touch with, not because they're not lovely people, they probably are. It's just that my life went in some other direction and it came home to me that Saturday afternoon that other than for the do you remembers there is nothing much I have in common with most of them. For the life of me I cannot discuss servant problems and I don't have a husband to discuss his health problems or his predeliction with other women, or the kids admissions or the mother-in-law or oh dear a whole litany of things which left me cold. Okay, this I found depressing . I agree that people have these problems, but truly, can life be so pathetic that you don't have something else to talk about? One of them, a woman who failed so many times she was five years older than the rest of us when she landed in our batch and who apparently didn't pass her boards with us, spent about ten minutes sympathising with me because I was - horror of horrors - unmarried. She just couldn't get over it and kept saying 'Oh I'm so sorry'. It took me all my will power to keep from laughing out loud.
I have nothing against marriage, I think it's a great thing. But somehow, I just never got married and now I don't think I could. I feel like it would interfere too much with my life. You have to really love someone to let them get that close to you, don't you? I'm used to not having to ask anyone before I take a decision - if I really and truly want to do something, I go ahead and do it. And this whole relationship thing seems to be a game of who has control. You know, each of the partners wants something out of it, and it's a bloody competitive game to see who succeeds in getting what they want. Plus, can you imagine having to wake up just because someone else does or having to share a bathroom or having to be tidy even when you don't feel like it?? I can't. This is probably a selfish attittude to have, but right now that's how I feel. Like I said, you'd have to be terribly in love with a guy to let him matter that much to you. I'm quite happy with my life at the moment, thank you very much.
What really amused me in the encounter with the poor overdressed wife who sympathised with me was that she would be really shocked if she realised how sorry I felt for her - imagine defining your life by the fact that you are married!!
More about this in some later post. For now, all you married people, stay happy and all you unmarried ones, be happy too!!!
1 comment:
Ma'am..Im in awe :) This entry brought a smile to my face...I wonder how it would be at my 25th school reunion :)
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