There’s something about death
This stoppage of breath
A deep sigh of relief
At the ebbing away of life
The dead find it incidental
Lease over, they leave the rental
Bodies unoccupied, almost offal
Fit for nothing but disposal
Sometimes fire, sometimes earth
Giving most the hope of rebirth
For though filled with strife
There’s something about life
11 comments:
Me first!!!
The title eerily similar to the last line..any implications there? I wonder ;-)
Yes..as much as life may suck at most times, there is SOMETHING to it..something that makes you not want to die.
yes....there is something abt death..actually..there is a lot abt death that makes me wonder.. how will i die? when? where? will it be painful? will i suffer? I also sometimes wonder if i waste my time being alive, thinking about death, because no matter what i think it will eventually catch up with us....
also....i am very particular that when i die, i dont want people coming up and saying...."he was a nice man"..."he was a great guy" blah blah......what use is it to me? have something to say, then say it when i am alive....or forever hold ur peace :) lol
@Shain
Yeah, death after all, is just the other side of life.
Sometimes I wonder, about people who live really long lives - is it because they do not want to die?
@mac
:-) You're a nice guy!!!
I've been thinking a lot about death this fortnight.
Maybe it helps to clarify life and that's why we do it.
Good one! And wonderful in the way it opined that both life and death are beautiful, in their own different ways.
Your poem reminded me of my personal favourite Because I could not stop for Death, and it convinced me that you are truly an Emily Dickinson in the making!
@Jimmy
My favourite line in that poem is 'The carriage held but just ourselves And Immortality.'
:-) I quite like this poem too but feel it needs more work for a sense of sompleteness.
Beg to differ. This poem is as good as it gets.
Because, according to me, a poem (unlike prose) achieves completeness the very first time it is written...
Wat do you say?
@JJ - why should poetry be any different from prose? Arent both art? So can one form of art be improved upon, but the other cant?
@Jimmy
It's only very rarely that I re-work my poems. And that too if I really feel that it needs it. I'm not happy with two of the lines - 'Fit for nothing but disposal' - feel it's too prosaic and 'For though filled with strife' - feel it is too simplistic.
This by the way is a brand new poem. Some of the others were old ones which I was reading through and felt like posting:)
@Shain
I get what Jimmy is saying. When you write prose you think logically but with poetry there's an emotional involvement. And when you try to refine on those emotions, will it lessen the credibility of the writing.
I don't usually rewrite my prose or poetry. But when I feel that something has not been written as well as it could have been, then I don't have any qualms about admitting that either and trying to better it. It may lose in spontaneity and gain in form but sometimes one has to make these sacrifices
I love this poem and i love your writing.
Gush gush
@me
What can I say? I was just born brilliant;-)But seriously, thanks a lot. It means a great deal to hear that.
If I may chime in at this late stage, please don't re-work this poem! It's perfect. I remember studying the Emily Dickinson poem mentioned earlier (the only poem I still remember after all these years, every line being so perfect)... wonder if you were in that WCC class with me?
Post a Comment