Showing posts with label WCC Stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WCC Stories. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

There's a reason I loved some of my classes

Scene: BA English Semester III Classroom
English lecturer limps into class after an absence of 4 days.
English lecturer has sprained her ankle.
English lecturer's usual mode of travel is the suburban electric train from Tambaram to Chetpet.
English lecturer is recovering from a fall on the railway platform at Tambaram.
English lecturer explains her absence to the girls with this sentence:
And you know what, Giiiiirlsss, I sprained a tendril!!!!!

This is the same English lecturer who explained to us that Samuel Johnson suffered from a dreadful disfiguring disease which caused him to have lumps all over his face. The lecture ended when she said:
Oh, I just can't get the name of that disease,what was it called? Oh yes, I remember now, Giiiirlssss, Samuel Johnson suffered from a dreadful disease called the scrotum.

And while I'm on this subject, let me not forget the time she got really agitated at what she called our unruly behaviour and threatened us:
Girlssss, now you are making me upset and while I do not like scolding my students, if you go on like this, I will be forced to castrate you.

Believe me, we adored the lady.

P.S. It should have been tendon, scrofula and castigate.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Steam on a train

Circa 1984. I am seventeen. A WCCite. A hostelite. Confident. Travelling by myself. Very grown up. Full of illusions (should be obvious to anyone reading the previous statement).
She is seventeen. Travelling alone. Naive. Trusting. Travelling alone. Sometimes quite an idiot. Spoilt, protected, youngest daughter. Travelling alone. Travelling alone. Travelling alone. (Thoughts running through my dad's head as he stands on the platform and peers suspiciously at my fellow travellers.)
I have to hand it to him for understanding teenagers (and/or me) pretty well. No lectures on being careful, not talking to strangers, or anything on those lines. Just a casual wave and a 'take care'.
I settle myself in and look around. Hey, pretty cool set of people. One guy, around my age. Hmmmm... nice smile, very nice smile. But hello, why is he smiling at me? Does he know me? Do I know him? Should I smile too? Well, it was such a nice smile and it would have been so rude to ignore it, so I did. Smile, I mean. At the nice smile. That was enough encouragement. He shifted seats immediately and started chatting. Turned out to be from MCC and we turned out to have a lot of common friends. So... good that I smiled back, wasn't it?
Together, we check out the rest of the passengers. Most of them are nice. The guy sitting opposite me makes me kind of uncomfortable, though. He just stares and stares and keeps smiling. Very rude! You don't just smile at some strange girl and make her feel self-conscious. I ignored him. Am good at this cold chilly front thing. Most guys I don't want to talk to get the message in about 2 seconds when hit with just a single below-freezing glare (my dad stopped worrying about me travelling alone after he saw one demonstration of said cold glare). Doesn't work with this one, though. Must be wearing thermal underwear. He keeps smiling and smiling and staring and staring. Makes me really uncomfortable. And just as I am about to turn and ask him what on earth he meant by the staring, he starts to talk.
The staring was preferable to "Hot water is the beginning of modern civilisation. Discuss." No, I am not making it up. I am not exaggerating. This is really what he said. Well, now it's the two of us who stare. And stare. And stare. I don't smile but MCC does. I just stare and think to myself. "Oh God, why me?" The conversation, if you can call it that, continues.
WC ( Weird Chap): My name is Honest Abraham Lincoln. I am from Salem.
WCC (me): (Stare. And stare. Not out of rudeness. Out of shock. Stare.)
MCC: Hi, I'm Martin Luther King.
WCC: (Eyes popping out of head and thinking) Okay, so now that's TWO crazy guys. And I, like an idiot, have started talking to one of them. And he knows my name!. Oh #$%&*!
WCC: ( Piteously looking at other travellers and sending out thought waves) SAVE ME SAVE ME PLEASE SAVE ME!
Other Travellers (OT) blithely unconcerned, continue with their activities - changing into lungies, eating thayir sadam and so on...
WC: What is your name?
WCC: (Cold glare)
WC: Why you will not talk to me? ( pointing an accusing finger at MCC) You were talking to HIM!
MCC: That's because she's my sister-in-law.
WC: Huh?
WCC: HUH?????? (Thinking, worriedly, very worriedly) Maybe I should get off at the next station and catch the bus home BOO HOO!
WC: (Pulling a packet of biscuits out of his pocket) Have one.
WCC: (shaken out of shocked stupor) Thanks, but no!
WC: (Louder) I said HAVE ONE.
MCC: You can't give her biscuits. My brother will not like it.
WCC: (Thinking out loud) His brother? Where did his brother come from?
MCC: (under his breath, to WCC) You idiot. you're my sis-in-law, remember?
WCC: (audible sigh) (under her breath to MCC) You're not nuts?
MCC: (Smiles. Shrugs) Nope, but he definitely is.
WCC: Totally loony.
WC: Why whispering? Say loudly say loudly. We also want to hear.
WCC to MCC: What are we going to do?
MCC to WCC: You are going to climb up to my top berth and stay there.
WCC thinks it over and decides it is a very wise course of action. Gets up from the seat.
WC: (Aggressively) You have not discussed my topic.
WCC: Huh?
WCC says this a lot during this journey, but so would you have done if you had been me.
MCC: (laughs out loud) I'll discuss your topic at the next station. In fact, I'll give you a demonstration on the platform.
WC: (very interested) Really?
MCC: Really.
One OT who had by then been listening to the exchange : Sounds interesting. Can I join the discussion?
WC: Yes yes of course, anyone can.
MCC to WCC: You can't.
WCC: I wouldn't dream of it.
WC to WCC: Which college do you study in?
WCC: (caught off guard blurts out) WCC.
MCC to WCC: ARE YOU CRAZY?
WC: (with a smug smile) I know you girls. That means you are in Stella Maris.
MCC: You are very intelligent. (under his breath to WCC) Top berth. Now.
WCC very meekly climbs up and stays there for the remainder of the journey.
MCC, one OT, and a couple of OTs whom he invites for the discussion, discuss 'hot water' with WC in great detail.The rest of the journey is uneventful.
MCC goes on to become one of my greatest friends and still bails me out of trouble in a pinch.