SecuRed

All this security and checking that one has to go through these days, even if one is just shopping, or waiting to see a movie, had me thinking back to the days when I first came across the manifestation of advanced levels of insecurity.
It was a couple of months after the infamous 9/11 incident. I was at the airport, waiting to catch a flight to catch a meeting at a neighbouring city. Standing in the check-in line, I realised that the gentleman ahead of me was my client, who was also headed for the same meeting as I was. Naturally, we struck up a conversation, checked in together (woe! woe! woe!) and headed for security clearance together. He sailed through but I didn't. And why not? Because something suspicious showed up in the baggage x-ray. The officer pointed to an odd-shaped object on the screen and asked me what it was. I couldn't figure it out. I looked at it from every point of view, tilted my head to the side, scrutinised it carefully, and thought very very hard about the stuff that I had packed.
In my head, I replayed the ten minutes it had taken me to pack the overnight bag. Yes, I had thrown in a change for the next day, my pajamas, a towel, shoes, a toothbrush and so on. I had not packed a shampoo or a perfume or nail clippers or scissors or any sharp object or anything of an inflammable/ explosive nature. I was pretty sure of this. You see, as a responsible citizen, I knew where my duty lay, and I would rather put up with the inconvenience of not carrying a deo rather than endangering national security. And I explained this politely to the very handsome security officer. Again and again. To no avail.
By this time, my client came back to find me. And bless his soul, stood by my side in silent support while I continued with my explanations. Finally, the officer told me in uncompromising and forbidding tones that “We will have to search your baggage". Well, I was frantic by this point and just wanted the whole thing to be solved. So, I opened up the bag and with a dramatic flourish said “Go ahead, search!". And they did. Oh, how they did.
Do you know how they do a baggage search? They take everything out of your bag and spread it out on a table for everyone to see. Everyone. Especially your client - whom you have only met once before - and who cannot contain his amusement (or whatever) at your bright red lacy lingerie which has made its appearance on the table. The security officer too took a break from his search to give me the once over and I promise you, I could see the thoughts that were running through his head. By this point, the colour of my face matched my lingerie and I was wishing and looking around for somewhere to hide. When it turned out that the odd-shaped object which had begun the whole torture was a hook on said lingerie, I actually heard my client snort while attempting to subdue a guffaw.
I re-packed my bag, assisted by a very helpful, very amused security officer and made my way to the aircraft in stony silence, where I then proceeded to endure a one hour flight sitting next to a client who kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I think he saw red lacy lingerie whenever he met me.
The next time I travelled, I checked in my overnighter and carried nothing as carry-on baggage.